


Dr. Joules and the BAU

by Susspencer



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, FA Original Character Challenge, I'm Bad At Tagging, Non-Graphic Violence, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-01
Updated: 2017-10-01
Packaged: 2019-01-07 11:32:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12231975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Susspencer/pseuds/Susspencer
Summary: Dr. Amy Joules, the unit chief of the FBI pysch department, pays a visit to Agent Hotchner.  It doesn't go well.  Did you expect it to?  Her visit brings up many memories of past experiences with the BAU team.  What has her relationship to the team been?  What does the future hold for Hotch? Dr. Joules? The team and  Dr. Joules?





	Dr. Joules and the BAU

He looked up at the closed blinds for the 15th time in the last hour 12 minutes and 42 seconds. Reid's mind was not on his last 2 files, but it was okay. It was only 2:30pm. He still 2 and a half hours till quitting time. Turning back to the open file on his desk, Spencer tried to ignore the gnawing feeling in his gut, that whatever was happening in Hotch's office wasn't going to be good.

15 minutes ago, section chief Cruz and Dr. Amy Joules, the psych department unit chief, went in. Amy was a friend of Spencer's. He had caught her eye on the way in. The way that she quickly looked away and gave her head a small shake told him this wasn't a pleasant visit. Then when Hotch closed the blinds, something he rarely did, Spencer began to worry. 

Spencer knew that Amy's presence meant 1 of 2 things. 1) that she was there for moral support for whatever was going on. To reassure Hotch that whatever admin was doing was for the good of the team, the bureau, and himself. 2) that there was a psychiatric reason for the meeting. They were going to have him take a leave, get some treatment, or address something he didn't report. Either way this wasn't going to be pretty. Aaron wouldn't take any of it without a fight. Dr. Joules was probably the only one who could keep him from doing something rash, other than Rossi. None of that kept Spencer from worrying, he cared for his friend.

Dr. Amy Joules had a history with the BAU. Unlike some of the psych department, Amy had learned early that many BAU members used their skills to dupe counselors into letting them back into the field too early. She had learned many of their tells, plus she had developed an understanding with them. It was called an “off the record” visit. Team members could come down after hours, to discuss case related or personal things that would not be put in any report. This way, they were able to get help for things like nightmares, the strain of seeing children hurt and killed, and just the horrors of chasing pedophiles and serial killers. Many of the things that caused burnout, that caused agents to cross ethical lines, and that just caused them to well lose it, were preventable if they could talk to someone. It was nice to have someone other than the team.

There was the time that Emily Prentiss was assigned to another therapist. She had convinced that therapist that the nightmares had stopped and she was dating her cat. After Amy had discovered that one, suffice it to say, unless she was sick on her deathbed, she handled them all personally. The team had learned, that they could trust Dr. Joules to keep their job related secrets. All reports were filled out with the required information, but never anything more. She saw no reason for administration to know the dirty, nasty, details of some of the dealings with serial killers, arsonists, kidnappers, pedophiles, etc. What is a normal day to the BAU, is a nightmare and unreasonable to most sane people. 

Spencer was pretty sure, after the SWATting that had happened to Hotch, the visit probably had something to do with Scratch dosing him. He knew that Hotch hadn’t reported it. How would it look to try and explain it? Hotch would be in therapy for months instead of trying to help catch the escaped serial killers. If not, that, then it must be about...Just as Spencer was on the next probability. He heard a loud noise from Hotch’s office. All the head’s in the bullpen snapped up and looked. Rossi came running out of his office. The door to Hotch’s office opened, Cruz stepped out, he motioned for Rossi to go ahead and come in. Cruz closed the door, after Dave went in, and Cruz headed off towards his office. Everyone went back to work, but Spencer got up to refill his coffee cup. He needed to shake this feeling of doom that was hanging over him.

JJ was in the breakroom. She had just finished refilling her cup.  
“Time for your afternoon pick-up, Spence?”

“Yea, just about 3pm. Running out of steam, need a recharge. Sugar me up and caffeinate me.” He chuckled. 

“I feel you. I was yawning over files, myself.”

“Either that or curiosity was killing both of us. What do you think is going on in there?”

“No idea, Spence. I’m hoping that Rossi will tell us, or you will get Amy to talk.” JJ said softly.

“We both know Hotch won’t say a thing.” Spencer said as he stirred his sugar in.

“True. Well back to the grind.” JJ said, patting Spencer on the back.

“Let me know if you hear anything.” 

“I will.”

Spencer picked up his cup, and returned to his desk. He looked up at the closed blinds again. He saw the door open. Dr. Joules’ backside was slowly exiting. He heard loud shouting from Hotch,

“I can’t believe you sided with them! You have ALWAYS, been on our side.”

“Aaron, you are not responding calmly. You know that I will always do what is best for you. I’ll talk to you when you can do it without yelling. I am your advocate and here for you. See me when you are ready.” She said firmly, but calmly.

“I’ll see you when hell freezes over. This is ridiculous. There is no way…”

“Good afternoon, Agent Hotchner.” Amy said sadly as she closed the door. 

BAM, something hit the door on the inside. Dr. Joules sighed, stood up straight, and left the department. Spencer had hoped that she would look his way, but she kept her eyes straight forward. 

When she arrived back at the psych department, she went straight to her office. Sitting down in front of her computer, she pulled up a file, typed away, and then closed the file. She crossed her arms on the desk, laid her head down, and just let the stress out. Tears falling from her eyes, her shoulders shaking from the crying, and her purple glasses becoming foggy from the whole thing. Amy lifted her head took her glasses off and set them on the keyboard. She let herself go for a few more minutes. Then as any professional, reached into her drawer, pulled out a handkerchief, dried her face, cleaned the glasses, and got herself together. She took two aspirin for the stress headache that was starting in the back of her neck. Sharon, Dr. Joules’ assistant, came into her office. 

“Didn’t go well, I take it.”

“Of course not, but that’s Aaron Hotchner.” Amy replied sadly.

“You don’t have anything else on your schedule today. Why don’t you go home early?” Sharon suggested. 

“I would, but I want to be available, if he comes to his senses and needs to talk.” Amy sighed. 

She knew he wouldn’t, but she always held out hope for him. He had made a great deal of progress in counselling over the last few years, with Dr. Joules. They had found a level of openness and honesty, where Agent Hotchner was willing to be open about things he had kept suppressed. 

“I know. Eternal optimist. Not really practical for this job.” Amy said rolling her eyes at Sharon.

“Didn’t say a word, boss.” Sharon chuckled. “Just thought it. Do you need anything?”

“No, I was just going to go over some reports. Let me know if anyone needs me.”

Sharon returned to her office, closing the door behind her. Amy put her earbud in one ear, clicked on her playlist marked therapy, and pulled up the reports. 

___________________________________________________________________________

“I can’t fucking believe it. They want to take me off of the search for Mr. Scratch. They think I’m compromised.” 

“Me! Can you believe them! DAMMIT Dave. It isn’t right. The man has targeted me, specifically. I know him better than anyone.” Aaron ranted as he slammed his fist down on his desk.

“Aaron...you have to see..”

“NO I DON’T! They don’t chase these guys. They are damn paper pushers. OH MY GOD!!!”

Aaron paced around the room as he went on. His face umber in color, hard lines on his brow, lips tight with rage, as his hands flew, just added to the way that Aaron’s anger showed throughout his entire body. Aaron continued to list his qualifications as an agent, an unit chief, and an expert on Peter Lewis. He finally found himself face to face with Rossi. He quieted.

“Aaron, what is the real problem? You’ve been told to sit out before. There is something deeper. I know you. Talk to me.”

“I - I just can’t believe… It’s just that. Dave if you “ Aaron couldn’t find the words and looked away.

“Come on, go sit on the couch with me of a minute.” Dave laid a hand on his shoulder. 

He plopped on the couch. His body slumped forward, as he rested his forearms on his lap. His face held a frown that reached all the way to his eyes. Dave took in the entire man, body language, expression, the huge sigh he had released as he sat. The old profiler knew there was something there, he had actually suspected it for sometime. He placed his hand on Hotch's leg, looked sympathetically at him, and started.

“So, the real problem was that Lizzie came with them?”

“Yes.” Aaron replied softly, paused, then continued, “I can't believe Amy would betray me like that.”

“How did she betray you?”

“She took their side. She agreed with them. She knows damn well I'm capable of continuing. She promised not to tell them everything I saw.” 

Aaron lifted his hands to his face to cover his eyes. His elbows resting on his legs. Dave swore he heard a sniffle. Dave moved his hand to Aaron's back. Dave went to say something, but Aaron continued.

“I trusted her. My God Dave, she knows more about me than you do. Now she does this! Why? she has always supported the BAU and me.” Aaron sighed, as he put his hands back down.

“Maybe, she really didn't have a choice? Maybe she came down here to help you understand that it was an executive decision and not hers? Did Cruz actually say anything that you told her ‘off the record’. ”

“Then why didn't she say so? I don’t think so, I was so angry. ”

“Did you give her a chance before throwing the stapler at her?” Dave raised an eyebrow as he asked.

Hotch looked down at the floor, where the stapler lay. His guilt showed. 

“You know I hate you, Dave.”

“That's the basis of our long standing relationship.” Rossi chuckled.

Aaron chuckled too. Dave removed his hand from Aaron's back. He turned so he could look Aaron in the eye. Dave knew he had to push Hotch a bit more. Aaron made eye contact with Dave and was going to thank him for his help settling him down, when Dave spoke.

“There's more to why you're so hurt by Lizzie not defending you, isn't there?”

Aaron answered hesitantly, “why do you do this? I ...try to keep things... You make me deal with them before I want to. (Pause) I have been in love with her for awhile now. Sigh, Dave you can't say anything.”

It was like a confession to a priest. Good to get it out, like forgiveness could now be granted, but still no one would know the secret sin that was there. You can't love your therapist. Your therapist certainly can't love you back, it isn't ethical. It also ends the therapeutic relationship. Aaron had taken so long to learn to open up and trust Dr. Joules. How long would he take with a new counselor? If he would open up at all. 

“So, the real problem is she broke your heart, and she doesn't even know it. She probably thinks you hate her for doing her job.” Dave said as he shook his head.

Aaron really had no answer. He had overreacted. He would need to apologize. The question now was did he need to say more? He tried to put his unit chief face back on, failing just a bit. 

“Thanks for coming in and straightening me out, Dave. I will apologize to Amy and meet with the team on Monday, to let them know.” 

“Anytime, but don't waste any more time. Let her know how you feel. You know I screwed that up, before. One of the biggest regrets of my life.” 

Aaron nodded. Dave rose and went back to his office.  
____________________________________________________________________________

 

There was knock at Dr. Joules door. She looked up from the report she was reading. After checking the time, 5:10 pm, She answered.

“Come in. Oh, Hi Spencer. I figured you’d be bye.”

Spencer smiled, as he entered, closing the door behind himself. He took a seat near Amy. 

“I wanted to check on you. Today, seemed to be a bit heated in Hotch’s office.”

“Yeah, it was. I’m fine though. Thanks. And before you ask, that’s all I can say, you know that.” She smirked as she replied.

He nodded. “Yep. Just checking on my friend. That loud ‘Bam’ had be concerned, is all.”

“I’m sure it did. Probably had most of the bullpen jumping, and gossiping.”

Spencer chuckled. “Certainly had Rossi running.”

“Yeah, guess there are a few things, that can still get the old man moving.” Amy closed her eyes as she let out a hearty laugh.

Reid laughed with her. Dave really did move, did his job well, and wasn’t near ready for retirement, but it was fun to pick on him. It was good to make light of the situation. Amy and Spencer fell into easy conversation. They had been chatting for a bit, when there was another knock at the door. 

Amy looked at Spencer for a moment, giving him a well you know look. Which he understood to mean that if it were Hotch at the door, he would need to go, Spencer nodded.

“Come in.”

Dave stuck his head in, smiled, and nodded at Reid.

“Lizzie! Just wanted you to know that I got Aaron settled down, before I headed home. He's still not happy, but he won't throw any more staplers.” Rossi chuckled.

“Thanks, David. I appreciate that.” She smiled back.

“You heading out kid? I'll walk with you.” Rossi offered.

“Soon, just finishing up a conversation.” Came Spencer's answer.

Rossi nodded, winked at Amy Elizabeth Joules, and closed the door. Spencer looked back at Amy. He had a look of concern on his face.

“He threw a stapler at you?”

“Towards. If it was at, it would've hit me. We both know his aim is accurate.” 

Amy gave a halfhearted chuckle, as she knew Spencer was protective of people he cared about. 

“Anyway, I think it was the lesser of several options he had, including reaching for his weapon. I sometimes wonder is administration thinks about that, when they pull agents off cases or from the field.”

“Shit! Spencer you can't say anything to anyone. It's Hotch's decision what to tell the team. Dammit.” 

Spencer reached out and placed his hand on Amy's leg. He knew she was mad at herself for letting it slip. He would never betray a friend, in this case two.

“Hey, it's fine. No worries. We all slip up, one time or another. At least you were lucky enough to do it with a friend. I've got your back. No one will know unless Hotch tells them.” Spencer spoke reassuringly.

With a sigh, Amy thanked Spencer. He gathered his messenger bag, said his goodbyes, started out the door, only to bump into Aaron. Both men excused themselves, stepped around each other, then went towards their destinations. 

“May I come in?” Aaron asked, a tad timidly for the man?

“Of course. Take a seat.” 

Hotch sat next to Dr. Joules. He kept his eyes down. There was an uncomfortable silence. 

“Is this an on the record visit? An ‘off the record’ session? Or just a visit?” Dr. Joules inquired.

Softly, Hotch stuttered, “j-j-just a visit. I actually came to apologize. I shouldn’t have thrown the stapler at you. I just felt like you had (pause) told admin about things that you promised were confidential.”

“Oh my, absolutely never, Agent Hotchner. I wouldn’t...I couldn’t, that isn’t in my nature.” Amy interrupted, with a shocked look on her face. 

“I know. Dave reminded me. It just felt like I was being attacked from all sides. With you there, it felt like you joined them. Like you were on their side, that you had betrayed me, left me alone to fend for myself.”

Sighing, Amy laid a hand on Aaron’s thigh, “No, I was there to support you. You just got defensive so fast. You weren’t listening to me, but I don’t blame you, at all. The way Cruz just dropped it on you.”

Aaron made eye contact with her. She could see how hurt he was. The pain was evident. He looked as though his entire world had been taken away from him. Schooling her microexpressions, Dr. Joules took a breath before saying anything else. She long had feelings for Aaron, but pursuing anything would be unethical. Over the two years that the emotions had developed, she had learned to keep them from the profiler. Watching him now, It broke her heart. She had no control over the decision that had been made to pull him from the Mr. Scratch case. 

It had come after his arrest, when the department of Justice had found out about him being dosed by Scratch. Even though they had trusted him to chase down the other ten serial killers, that the team had already recaptured or had to kill. When they found the woman with Hotch’s name etched in her forehead, they started to see how personal this was for Mr. Scratch. Administration feared that if it was that personal for Peter Lewis, then it might become another case of the BAU team going rogue because of that. Dr. Joules argued with them. She presented her evaluations of the team members and Agent Hotchner, showing that each and everyone was currently in a place of making decisions based on evidence not past experience with an unsub. While loyalty was always a key part of what made the team work, it was not something they were willing to risk their careers over. Yet, admin chose to look at past history, from almost six years ago, and not the current state of affairs. Even so, Dr. Joules had made an appeal that administration take time to speak to Rossi, Hotch, team members or even an outside observer, about the current search for Lewis in detail, so that they could hear and see the responses themselves. She had been shot down. Quote, The BAU team is excellent at hiding their true plans and feelings about cases. They have fooled your people before. They have duped us. We wouldn’t be surprised to find out that they have been playing you for years. While Dr. Joules would’ve liked to go off on admin, and let them know the many ways she had caught the team over the years trying that. She had promised to keep a number of things off the record, because they were just part of the job, a part that no one would understand, unless they did the job. 

“Aaron, if there is anything that I can do to help?” Amy said, her voice filled with concern.

Hotch just shook his head. 

“Would you like a drink or something? Maybe I could turn on some of my evil music therapy?” Amy chuckled, hoping to get a response of some sort from Hotch.

“Actually, I would love some music therapy. Regardless of what I’ve said about it in the past, it is helpful.”

With puckered lips, raised brows, wide eyes, and a surprised look, Amy stared at Hotch for a moment, before she moved to the computer, chose a playlist and put it on. She grabbed 2 bottles of water. 

After she returned to her place near Aaron, she asked, “Why did you change your mind?”

“There was a case involving children, always the hardest. I came down here late to talk to you, off the record about it. You were sitting here singing, to one of your playlists. The expression on your face, the way you swayed, and sang just really spoke to me as much as the lyrics. You really felt the song and its meaning. Which is how you have always explained, your crazy therapy idea, that I was suppose to listen for the meaning, then find a number of songs that will speak to the need or needs, going on at the time to relieve stress, problems, and nightmares.”

“Exactly, I’m glad you finally got it.” Amy smiled.

They listened for a little bit. Just relaxing to the music, they found it comfortable, where both of them were relaxed from the tension of earlier. 

“You know that I'm not about to sing in front of you right!” She chuckled.

Aaron laughed back, “Why not? Do you know how many times I've stood just past the window by the door there (he pointed to the full glass pane that was the same height as the door, beside it. It allowed Dr. Joules to see who was there, when the blinds were open.) and listened to you. Especially after a rough case?” 

“That could be could be considered stalking, agent Hotchner.”

“Yes.” He said, his eyes on the floor. “But my motives were pure.”

“I’m sure they were.” She smiled, “you could've just come in.”

“Yea, but you just said, you wouldn't sing in front of me. Half the therapeutic benefit of it was the joy on your face as you sang.” He stated with a look of pure honesty that touched her heart.

Amy blushed, as she felt exposed. She realized that most of the songs, that he was talking about were old love songs, the ones she sang on the nights she slept over at the office. The nights, she was either lonely or afraid to go home. The nights, the memories of her attack overwhelmed her. The nights, she wanted to feel safe and protected in the arms of the man, that she had come to love. Sadly, she frowned, she could never tell him. “Damn, ethics.” she thought.

“What's wrong?” Aaron asked? 

“Nothing, was just thinking about another time.”

“Thinking back to your attack again?”

“Does it show?” She sighed?

“Only because I know all about it. I tend to watch for it on your face.”

“Yea, sometimes, I feel like of all things that a psychologist should be able to get past is their own psychological problems.” 

“But it isn’t just psychological, and you know that.” He added sympathetically

Amy thought back to that day, almost what, 15 years ago now. She had been taken by a man named Gene Stevens. He had been an unsub in the Quantico/DC area that was taking women 30 to 35, brown to dark brown hair, blue eyes, overweight, under 5’3”, who were interested or in the BDSM community. Amy had recently been dabbling in being a submissive to her recent boyfriend at the time, David. Stevens had been cutting the women, 23 times. 22 on the back, and the 23rd one was the femoral artery, and cause of death. He had become obsessed with finding a submissive who liked pain, blood, and would be willing to be his. The issue was that he didn’t want to develop the relationship between dom and sub. It was his belief that every submissive women, well hell all women, should respond to him, immediately. Taking the rejection of the 4 women that he killed personally, Stevens added his average looks to the reasons that women weren’t worth it, especially professional women. These short, overweight, professional women thought they were better than their male counterparts. Stevens was going to show them, their place. When he had grabbed Amy, she had just gotten home from a date with David. 

David and her relationship had been built on a friendship first. This had help establish the trust you need to allow someone to be your dom. She remembered fondly the first time they had made love. David had invited her over for dinner. He had cooked a delicious ravioli for her, paired with steamed broccoli, a sweet red wine. Dessert had been cheesecake. As she sat at the kitchen counter watching him wash up the dishes, finishing her second glass of wine, staring at his tight blue jeans. There was only so much looking at that fine rear end, a woman could take. After finishing the glass, Amy took it over to David to wash.

“There you go.” She said, setting the glass on the counter to his right. 

“Need a refill, Lizzie?” David asked?

“Nope,” She replied, popping the p. She wrapped her arms around his waist, leaned against his back, and kissed it.

“I need you to stop washing the dishes and kiss me. I can’t take it anymore.” Her voice seductive and low.

“Well, your wish is my command.” He rumbled back, turned in her arms and kissed her.

Her hands wandered down as they kissed. He jumped when she squeezed his butt. She hadn’t been this forward before. She giggled.

“What was that?” He squeaked. 

“That was what you get for leaving me alone to stare at your ass for too long.” She said leaning in to kiss him again.

Pulling back from the kiss, to catch his breath, David found himself quite aroused. He also discovered, that Lizzie had untucked his shirt. Apparently, not only was she in an interesting mood, but also deft and subtle. He looked into her eyes. She smiled up at him. Her eyes filled with mischief and lust. Surprised, but excited, he leaned down and tilted her chin a bit higher. 

“You are in a mood, tonight, aren’t you my little one?” 

“Wine, good food, a handsome man, who wouldn’t be?” She said raising herself, on tiptoes, licking her lips, as she moved her hands up his chest towards his shoulders.

With a hold on her biceps, he pulled her towards him. He kissed her firmly, licked the seam of her lips for entry. She opened up, tilting her head a little to give him access. Lizzie moaned as David’s tongue invaded her mouth. She slid her arms under his and around his back. Having pulled him closer during the kiss, she lifted his shirt, and began rubbing her hands up and down his back. David was panting as they came up for air. His eyes dark with lust as he looked at her. She pulled him toward the stairs, lifting his shirt up as she could with their height difference. He finished taking if off, tossing it somewhere across the room. He stopped their movement to kiss her again and get his hands on the zipper of her dress. Discovering there was none, he reached down and started to lift it, only stopping to enjoy the moans she let out when her ass was squeezed a few times. Lizzie grew impatient. She undid David’s belt while he was caressing her back, on the way to lift her dress off. As she led him to the stairs again, this time her tongue mapped his mouth, teeth, tongue, lips. Her hands had his pants unbuttoned. She slipped out of her shoes, then stepped up on the 1st step, as he undid her bra. Lizzie slid her arms out of it, quickly, seductively, then she lifted his hand to her large breast. He moaned at the feel of the soft skin. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the warm touch. The stair evening out the height difference, she placed her hand behind his head, pulled his face to her other breast, and dropped her head forward as his warm lips connected with her nipple. His tongue teasing, licking, and his lips sucking was so intoxicating. Lost in the sensation, she barely noticed that his other hand had moved to her hip and was lowering her panties. She had gotten his zipper down, quite by accident, when she had grabbed the top of his trousers and pulled them apart during a moan when he bit her nipple. She sat back down, her rear on the 3rd step.  
She pulled David towards her.

“Not here, come on up to the bedroom.” He stated in a lust filled voice.

“I want … you now.” She panted.

“It won’t be comfortable.” He groaned as his knees hit the 1st step.

She pushed at his pants with her feet. “Do I look, like I care right now? Get up here and “ She started to demand as he crawled between her legs.

She groaned loudly at the feel of his weight on her. The feel of his erection between her thighs, the warmth of his furry chest on hers, and the return of his lips to hers, had her purring. The stairs did cut into her back a bit, but she didn’t care. The pain added a bit of something more to the experience. The pleasure of him entering her, the pain of the stairs cutting into her as they moved, and the way he bit, kissed, licked, sucked at her flesh and breasts, quickly increased her excitement. He loved the feel of being inside her, the way she responded to him, the way her legs felt around his hips, and the sounds she was making. It may not have lasted as long as both of them had wanted, but it was amazing.

“Amy. Amy! AMY!” Aaron called. 

Amy shook her head. “Sorry, got lost in my thoughts again.”

“Must have been good ones. You were smiling.”

“Better than most. I guess you need to be getting home to Jack.” She said looking at the clock.

Hotch looked up at the clock. “Damn. Yes, I do. Let me call, Jessica and let her know, that I’m on my way, then I’ll walk you out.”

“Sure let me get my things together.” Amy stood, went to her desk to get her purse, phone, and keys. 

Hotch finished his call, smiled. “You ready?” 

She had just finished shutting down the computer. “Yep.”  
They walked out to the parking lot, chatted as they went. When they reached her car, he apologized again for his earlier behavior. She told him not to worry about it, reminded him to call her if he needed to discuss it over the weekend, and that he wasn’t alone. They said their goodbyes and headed off.


End file.
